Educareering

My educational background consists of a high school diploma, a year of college, and just about a year of university. I took a year off in between each endeavor to make some money and explore my options; but to be honest, that was probably one of the stupidest things I could have done. I should have just went to university straight out of high school, and in high school to prepare I should have taken grade 12 math and a science to back me up. But those are should haves and now I'm in the present and I don't know where I'm at. 

Whenever I start a semester I am unbelievably organized; that gets out of control fairly quickly though. I have a hard time with motivation in school and I think that has something to do with the fact that I have no idea where I'm going in life career-wise. I think I'm stuck in this constant loop of figuring it out and not knowing, trying and not trying. I can't stand classes that I have no interest in. Biology for example: super interesting of course, the origins of life etc. but I don't have to, nor want to, memorize every little detail. I don't feel like that's going to matter in my future because I'm not going into sciences and yet it's a requirement. I get annoyed and then I get really bad marks. 

When I started post-secondary, and even in post-secondary, I was convinced that I wanted to be a writer. A professional writer. Not a journalist, just fiction and whatnot, but none-the-less; so I went to college for writing. I love to write, don't get me wrong there, but there is a very small chance of making it as a professional high-paid fiction writer. I know that I'm a good writer, but I'm pretty sure I could not make it in the snobby, hipster-ridden, uptight, hippie writing community. I'm just not that person. All I've seen from the arts community is that it's so "elite" that much of the time instead of actual talent mattering, it's who you know/suck up to. 


After college I decided psychology was the route for me because I've always had an interest in human condition and what makes people tick; that's what I'm doing in university right now. But I look at the requirements and the jobs available, I'm beginning to think that it's not something I want to do. I would still like to get a degree, probably a BA in Psychology, but I don't know what to do with it anymore. 

There are so many careers available out in the world. Right now while I'm in school, I'm working as a photo-editor/creative-marketing lackey for a friend's company. I love doing that job, but I feel like if I went to school for it, I'd end up hating it. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, only more time will tell. 

What I really want in life, and many people will shake their heads at this, is to be a house-wife. I want to raise a family, I want to keep a clean house, make meals for my husband, drive my kids around to sports and clubs, and enjoy the life of a homemaker. In my spare time I'd write and paint and tend a garden. I want that more than anything. The reality is that most households need both parents working in order to generate enough income to survive these days so I've got to figure something out. I don't want to be one of those people who hate their careers and then in turn their lives. I don't want to be one of those people that live to make money they don't have time to spend.

I feel stuck on a muddy pathway. 

  


I found the following image a few hours after I wrote this blog.Inspiring. My head is a little more up than down for now.